Thoughts on this
I’m a twenty-one year veteran. Have served in the most forsaken places that shouldn’t even exist. Wars, skirmishes, relief efforts gone insane. Conceded fear as a normal presence. Seen things that still make me wanna puke.
Make me weep.
I recently had occasion to get some grub at a 24 hour diner in the heart of town. It was like 3 am and as I was leaving I suddenly found myself a piss away from 4 kids having a gun fight on the other side of my car. I
tucked in front of a potted plant on the sidewalk and gave them room. They were fearless….no…..reckless beyond any reasoning at all. Cover was not anissue. Crossfire was of no concern. Collateral damage? Pffft. Whatever.
It was the most foolish display I had ever seen in my entire life and travels. I knew that if they turned their attention on me I had a good chance at a counter, weighing the risks, but then….it was their manner. They just didn’t seem to give a shit.
What struck me even worse was that I looked up and the people in the diner just continued to eat…I mean, yeah there were gawkers….and a few people were spazzing, but mostly they just went on about it.
So the cops are enroute and the boys run away and I can’t believe for the life of me that at least one of them wasn’t leaking, but they just vanished and I quietly got in and drove away. As I drove home wondering about all this I started thinking about the graffiti along the way. I started hunting for information. Started trying to learn a little more about these kids and what I should be doing. I became obsessed. I finally landed here. On this site.
I am completely humbled by what I have read. I’ve been no-where. I’ve done nothing. I have failed in understanding where my efforts should have really been. When I was down for the wrong shit I could have been putting my
life to grind for something that is real.
I just want to let you know that this is working. Just being able to share time with people outside of their lives has to be an incredible thing to some of these people. So entombed are they in the life they have very little
control over. My heart is aching and so will others, I’m sure. I’m not too sure where I will go from here, but I know that I can help one person at a time and for that person it means everything. I am eager to try.
All around me is this shiny rotten apple.
I will say this something to everyone if you so chose to publish this letter:
All you have is time. Nothing else is yours. Nothing. Love is not an
emotion. You can’t give it or take it or make or break it. You won’t
even feel it that much. It is an act. A selfless act of will. That’s real.
It does not seek it’s own reward. You’ll never get love back because you
want it, but the more time you spend in the act, the more you will
experience. So think about the time you have and how you spend it.
Believe me, it aint much. Hating is easy. Forgiveness is a bitch because the world says
that it’s weak. But that’s a lie. Loving and forgiving your enemies are
something that is noted in the cosmos. It is the most courageous act there is. It is
above the economy of man and his mortal pursuits. It is beyond the
borders of the hood, the city, the country, the planet. It will set you free
and force your enemies to hate themselves for hating you. I know these
words aren’t something that you can readily apply in your life; however, they are
a truth that can give you strength and quicken you over time….and all you
really have is time.
I’ll shut up now.
Vince
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