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Mac and the Angel
I am Lil'mac and me and Lil Angel are here wit a message to all you young girls out there living this street life, representing, and having men that are living gang lyfe to the fullest or even those associated to the streets in some way. We want to share our stories with you in hopes that we might save a life or enlighten someone to not follow our path. These stories hurt to write, and they might hurt to read.. but please take a minute and take this in, if nothing else we will know that we reached out to others in hopes that they won't follow our paths. Both of us learned the hard way what gang lyfe costs, both of us deal wit those sacrifices daily. Both of our ex's and kids fathers are serving between 12 and 25 years in prisons for living the lyfe they couldn't give up! We deal wit that on a daily basis! We will never forget where we came from for it has changed our lives forever. We can both tell you we are lucky to be alive today, two different stories, two different endings, both ending in tears.. so please take the time to read and understand what these stories say and to all you young females out der livin la vida loca.. wake up!!! U aren't invincible and it can and will happen to you! WE are both open to talk anytime.. so if you need someone holler aight, keep ur heads up, stay safe, keep ur familias safe, and please if you are banging re-think the reasons your out there.. and ask yourself.. IS IT WORTH IT??? First off for those who don't kno me I am Lil'mac a volunteer hea at G~style. I have been around for a few years. This Is MAH HOME! Wit mah familia. But as time has gone on hea, I have met a lot of ppl and talked to soooo many more. I realized that I can relate so well to all of you and what you goin thru. I have been there and seen it, and done it first hand. Gang lyfe is a part of me, a part that will never change, HOWEVER we made a change for the better. we wanted to share our experiences with The ppl, we can really relate to and our hearts go out to all you teen mothers, that are in the middle of banging and havin babies. Whether you have ur man by your side or you doin it alone, bein in a gang and affiliaWE KNOW THAT. So we wanna share sumthin wit you that we hope will make you all realize what life is really like and what can happen to you and your child becuz you are in a gang. It doesn't just affect you, when you bring that baby into it, it affects every part of their life. so pleaze take a minute and read these... I am me. I am lil'mac. I am an inactive gang member, I am a mother, I am two parents in one, I am EVERYTHING to my children. But bein in a gang has hurt me, and them. It hurts everyone eventually! Some people aren't as lucky as I was and are no longer around to share these stories with you. See I had my first son when I waz 15 and in a gang and so waz my man. I stayed until my son was about 3- 4 months old and then I had to get out. I got out for my kids, they needed to be safe and they weren't with the thangs I waz doin'. I understand what these gurls are goin thru cuz I have been there. Yea I still go back to mah hood and I still see mah boyz. I will never forget where I came frum,becuz itz a part of me forever. but my kids deserved better than that. I do relate to all of you gurls out hea wit babies, and I think you can see that and see that you are not alone. But the choices you choose to make with your lyfe are your own. I am gonna tell you str8 lyfe is never easy bein in a gang and havin a baby. Itz hard enuf havin one and bein out. But as you probably kno.,...... those who try to hurt you and make you suffer will also take those who you love them most and are closest to you. When you have a baby and are in a gang that means.. your baby. I also kno this first hand.... becuz when i made my final decision to leave. I waz puttin my baby boy in his car seat in front my house he was 3 months old. I leaned in to fasten him in and I heard the all to familiar sound of blastin. I ducked and covered my baby. thats all I could do!!!! and pray that it didn't hit him. He waz innocent, he didn;t deserve this. He waz juz a baby, a baby that waz in the wrong place at the wrong time. But who couldn't defend himself. that waz my job! I waz all he had. I don't kno how we didn't die that day. All my windows were shattered and there were 14 bullet holes in my car, centimeters frum me. Sumthin saved us that day and I knew I wouldn't get another chance like that. I needed out before it was too late. see this is what can happen when you have a baby in a gang. I am not gettin down on you cuz I been there and done that. I will not judge you or what you choose to do. I juz ask that you look at what can happen and then decide if thatz what you still wanna do. I ask time and tiem again IS IT WORTH IT? I am always here if you wanna talk. juz e-mail me goodluck and keep yo head up. lil'mac@gangstyle I got pregnant when I was 16, and was in a gang tambien. When my daughter, Veronica was 1 years old me and my prima were ridin around wit my daughter. WHile we werepumping gas at a gas station we got shot at. I jumped to the back seat door and tried to cover her the best I could but didn’t get there in time. See my story is just like Lil'macs, but I was not as lucky as her. My daughter died that day. Now Im 22 and it still hurts to think about it or talk about it. She was only 1!! You have no idea how much I wanted to kill myself that day. It shoulda been me! After that day, my babys daddy went to find those motha fuckerzz and do them in, he went to their pad and killed the one that shot her. He is now in San Quentin
prison for the rest of his life. So it ruined all our
lives. I put my rag down the day she passed. It is not
worth it! But I know I don’t have to tell you that. I
also lost one very good home boy, and my brother got
shot in the leg about 3 years ago, and cant even
barely walk n-e-more. What the fuck is up wit this
shit??? Serio, its so stupid, I jus wish I would have
realized that before it was too late. So I'm Lili and I lost my daughter to the gang. The people I thought would protect me from everything. I thought it was coo to be involved. That nothing could hurt me. I got pregnant at a very young age and when my daughter was 1 I lost her. Im writing this to y'all cause I see lil girls tryin to be chulas and bring up a kid jus like I did. Its not a good idea. And I hate myself everyday, when I think about how stupid it was to bring a child into that enviroment. I loved my mija so much and still do. I also loved my glica and stood by it, but is it really worth it? I LOST MY BABY! Is it still worth it? Im sorry but to me its not. Call me whatever you want, say Im a dropout, pussy, what the hell ever you wanna say, I jus see myself as stupid for not getting out sooner. It could have saved a innocent 1 year old baby her life. Does it really seem worth her life for a color, hood or title? Not to me. So ladies out there thinkin of bringin up a child in da same circumstances, DON'T!!! It’s the worst thing you can do for your child. And don’t think that "it wont happen to you". Cause it can and most likely will if your really livin the thug life. So ladies show that your strong and walk out. Set down your rags, and raise your children right, so they don’t end up like mine, gone. much love & respectz to all you
ladies, Liliana AKA Lil Angel
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