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Getting out of a Gang

"I JUST WANTED 2 LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT IT'S BEEN 3 YEARS SINCE I'VE TURNED AWAY 4RM MY GANG LIFE AND HAVE DECIDED 2 DO SOMTHING POSITIVE WIT MY LIFE. AND IM GLAD I DID IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST DESICIONS I HAVE EVR MADE. AND IM GLAD THAT THIS IS MY 3RD YEAR EVEN THOUGH IN THE BEGINNING IT WAS HARD CUZ I WANTED 2 GO BACK. I STUCK IT THREW. THANK U GOD 4 HELPING ME. THANK U 4 3 YEARS..MUCH LOVE" Mixed Chica 13

A Gangster's Testimony by Artie Sesma

The question we get asked most often is "How do I get out of a gang." Is it possible? Is it easy? With that in mind we have brought some resources together discussing getting out of a gang.

If you would like to share your experiences with leaving a gang please to email us.

Getting Out Of A Gang by Doulos

For most gang members, gangs meet a need. When they learn to meet their needs in a better way, they will decide to stop being a gang member. However, for many gang members, the issue is not if they will grow out of being a gang member. The issue is whether they will live long enough to make that decision.

When gang members decide that they want to get out of the gang, there are a few simple steps that they can begin to follow:

  1. Never tell the gang you want out. You may be beaten or even killed.
  2. Begin spending your time doing other things. Instead of spending time with your gang friends, find something else to do during that time. Look around. There are possibilities everywhere: sports, recreation centers, Boys & Girls Clubs, arts programs, drama, school activities, and even spending time with your family.
  3. Try to stop looking like a gangster. For many gang members, dressing down makes them feel safe because other people are scared of the way they look. As you begin to believe in yourself you will find that you don't need to make other people feel afraid in order to feel good about yourself. Stop wearing the clothes that you think are gangster clothes.
  4. Stop talking like a gangster, acting like a gangster, and hanging out with gangsters. Find other things to say, other things to do, and other people to hang out with. (HINT: this is much easier if you stop dressing like a gangster first.)
  5. Get good at making excuses. Your parents can probably help you with this, but if not, try asking a teacher or older friend for help. Some former gang members have said that when they started trying to get out they stopped taking phone calls from their gang.

Find people who support you and believe in you. Getting out of gangs isn't easy but it can be done. Find people, especially adults, who think that you are special and will keep telling you that. Begin believing in yourself. Gangs are a dead-end street. No matter who you are, what you have done, or where you live, you deserve better.

Change by Twilight

Nothing is easy when it comes to change. "vida loca" is not just about gangbanging its about what you love starts changing. I been where you been and sometimes it seems I never left. I felt hopeless. I felt great heartache and sadness but in order for me to get where I am today I had to sit and look at my life, I mean take a real hard look at myself and where I was going and ask myself "is this how I want to live all my life?" In order for me to change for the better I really had to want to change. Not just say outloud to myself or my friends that "hey yeah I wanna change" I had to really believe it and want it. I also had to leave alot of people behind too, change my playground. No one said it was easy, there is no "how to" book for any of us. You just got to want it and believe that you are someone and that life no matter how hard it may get is worth living and fighting for. You got to understand that in order for you to live your dreams, nightmares will happen, life at times might hit you in the face with something hard. they go hand in hand. No matter what though dont stop trying to make your life better for you and yours. Never give up the good fight. If you need someone to talk to just ask.

An open Letter - If you're thinking of getting out of a gang

I know a 25 year old girl that was a Surena. She told me that when she was 16 both she and her cousin were shot in a drive by shooting. She was pregnant at the time.

Her cousin died. And so did her unborn baby. Now she will never have kids. No one from her gang was able to take her pain and suffering away. Not one of them could give her, her baby back. None of them can make it where she can have a baby now. Their promises of love and sisterhood were useless and as dead as her child.

That's the reality of it. I think sometimes people don't tell you guys what reality is. But here it is,

There is no safe way to stay in the gang and stay alive. The very nature of gang life is not about love or family it is about war. War within yourself and with others on the streets that live in different parts of town and wear different colors.

Is the neighborhood you live in worth losing a child over? Is the neighborhood you live in worth being in a wheelchair the rest of your life or being in a bed with all kinds of tubes running into you, someone wiping your butt for you, waiting for you to eventually die? Is it worth dying for?

A lot of kids say, "yeah, I'd die for my Nation, my hood, whatever." But they are full of it. When they are laying in the street with their guts hanging out, urinating on themselves, bleeding their life's blood into a gutter that they never owned in the first place, reality hits them. And they know then that there is no coming back. No second chance. And that rag on their head ends up trying to patch the bleeding hole in their body.

And for all the promises their gang has made to them, about loyalty, love, and brotherhood / sisterhood, that gang cannot raise them from the dead.

Only you can stop the event beforehand. Now is that time. Now is your second chance. I don't know what it would take exactly. But I guarantee you that when you lie dying you will wish that you had done anything to get out.

We gamble all the time. You gamble that you will not die, living day to day with your gang. But if God came and told you Himself that you are going to die in two days if you don't get away from it, you probably would do something else.

Well I can't give you the exact time, but I would be willing to bet that it is coming.

All that is not to scare you. I am pretty sure living the life you have had to live, not much does scare you. Its not about being scared, its about reality.

Every day I get emails from gang members asking similar things. Most of them, however, are asking how to get out. Some are Surenos / Surenas, some are Bloods, Crips, Gangster Disciples, even MS13. They are afraid to go to their "brothers / sisters" in the gang to tell them these fears. But isn't that the opposite of what a gang is supposed to be for? Some brotherhood huh? Family is supposed to love you no matter what. Not just love you if you wear the same colors.

There are others like you. They will never tell you though, because they are afraid that they will pay consequences, even die if they tell the gang they want out of this way of death. That is what it is you know. Not a way of life but of death. Sometimes horrible death.

I want you to know that you can write anytime you want. I won't preach at you anymore. But I will be here to listen and support you as often as you need. You can write and talk about nothing if you want. Or you can write about anything. to email us.

Please think on these things. And stay safe.

Check out this article researching getting out of a gang.

Read about A gang member's new life

You can walk away from gangs. Read more...

Getting Out of a Gang
Read our own Channelview's piece...
continued

A Teacher with a Student Who is Trying to Leave a Gang

I recently had an email from a teacher who expressed concern about a student she had in his early teens who was involved with gangs. I offered her my thoughts regarding the situation, and she answered me very positively: "It's good to have someone to talk to about the hard stuff."...
continued

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