When I think, my mind goes blank..
ta me "love" is such'a horrible-thing..
now I really am in'a horrible-place..
maybe its just'a-"phase"..
that that word is just-"play"..
-okay..
maybe just ta get-"laid"???..
scared to tell me to-my-face!;
now shes-"erased"!;
if shes too good for my-taste..
I already had'a taste..
pull up mine..
yep..
it-was-nice..
now have'a good day!//
;) sorry..wrong board..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-IG3AjNItQ
My disposition comes into-"play"..
I already used it..
as of my 1983-date!..
born ta crutch it..
with 2 fuked up-legs!..
born in'a fuked up-place!;
& no I'm not-okay!;
I have ta-stay..
because-"they"-say..
or they yell-out-raged!;
why??..
I'm-28!;
damm it..
for-God-sakes!!//
Women wanna laugh..
but you don't see how I'm livin'..
puffin' blunts &-hella-cigarettes!;
drinkin' daily for my "depression"..
cus I wanna find "love" of my own..
& cannot-get-it!;
livin' my life as'a G..
with semi remorse for-it..
my life played out as the same routine..
every-mornin'!;
I awake & fire-"chronic";
blaze'a cig..
with no coffee for caffeine..
just get me-"Pepsi"!;
dress down in my-"Dickies"..
wife beater,
white-clean..
& then off ta tha store..
drinkin' brew til they close..
hit-tha-bowl..
get **** with by some security..
then head-home!//
My family says they "love" me..
but ask..
"Whats-wrong???"..
"You got'a roof, food-&-clothes"!..
"What more do you need??"..
My ****' answer..
"Somebody-for-me!"..
somewhere ta go..
other than here..
where mom shelters me..
because-shes-scared!..
thinks I won't make it out swimmin'..
out-there!;
but my attitudes like,
"**** you all!"..
you will see..
but you won't see..
when I'm-gone!..
I'm NEVER comin' back..
**** this house..
**** my fam..
I can't stand ya'll..
tell me I could do whatever..
move out from-my-momma??!..
but ya'll-older..
just try ta clown me..
say I belong-here!!..
"**** YOU!!"..
& you don't understand any of my life..
or what I went-through!..
don't believe me???..
aren't my gang colors-proof!!????..
I just wanna girlfriend,
& something positive ta-do!..
just like ****'-YOU!..
I'm addicted ta drinkin' my azz..
only cus ya'll hurt me so ****'-bad!!..
I can never sleep,
lonely..
alone-in-bed!;
so I stay up late,
& Rap..
thats my job..
since I'm'a crippled-bas..
-****..
never do anything "right"..
**** tha skys the limit..
when ya'll won't let me;
make it that-far!;
makes YOU seem like the..
"BAS-****"!..
I know I could do it..
if you gave me'a chance..
but ya'll won't..
& NEVER-CAN!;
all ya'll ever spit out ya ****' mouths is-"Can'ts"!;
but I'm grown now..
I wear tha ****'-pants!;
& ya'll to me..
is just ****'-ANTS!;
somethin' ta step over..
step around..
shrug & give you cold-shoulders!;
because I'd NEVER tell you my "wants"..
I don't share with non-believers!;
who don't believe that I was ever'a-gangster..
& don't try to comfort me..
ya'll ain't ever lived the life of crippled-motherfuckers!;
& what I want is "simple" motherfuckers!..
I could write it with'a pencil-motherfuckers!;
but instead,
I'm suspenseful-motherfuckers!;
until it hits you-motherfuckers!..
that I'm 28 & never had chances like you-motherfuckers!;
cus tha world thinks its wrong-motherfuckers!;
& our governments "wrong"-motherfuckers..
see this is what happens when you shelter me-motherfuckers..
I get pizzed-motherfuckers!;
I ain't got my own life-motherfuckers..
my life is dictated..
my mother is like my ****' "Hitler"..
& I-hate-it!!//
I feel dat ish homie...real talk...wut we both need iz more of God n less of an influence by money n da streetz...On da real, i can't go 2 anotha church, All I see iz pastorz talkin about $$$ n askin 4 offeringz b4 dey give da msg everywhere I go...Den sayin u a bad person if u don't give 2 dem...Dey sick n demented n lie 2 u 4 $$$ tellin u ur saved juz by givin $$$ 2 dem...Dey alwayz wantin $$$ but never spendin it 2 help da ppl...But instead takin vacationz n livin good, y da ppl in da church sufferin...So my attitude iz f_uk church...Y waste my time...Can't even hear a msg about "tiding" without doin it 1st...pathetic...
N im livin wit my momma 2...suffin I aint proud of...but livin broke iz a part of payin duez...I help her as much as I can becuz we have absolutely no family n barely survivin....Thank God im in college n can get loanz...haha....
I kno "sumday" ima b livin good n ima have a nice pad, whip, n wifey....til den I gutta remain patient n faithful n trust da Lord fully....I'll alwayz b in da streetz...I wuz born in2 poverty....How can I 4get my rootz?....
I'm co-signed by many major catz, all of which kud care less about nuffin but demselvez n $$$...Dey say my muzic fiah n im dope n can mos def get me a major deal wit Def Jam or Roc Nation, but say dey won't invest in artists n I gutta do da "work" myself, as if I don't awready do errthang myself...By work I mean pay 4 air fare n all expensez incurred while travelin, also da initial recording of my demo/album, so my attitude iz f_uk dem 2, i'll do it myself...ALL I NEED IZ GOD!!!
N_iggaz from da streetz won't even rap on ya track unless u show dem $$$, it aint about realness no more, all catz care bout iz $$$....$$$ changez ppl n makez dem 4get der rootz...Juz look at any rapper who say dey from da hood, u still c dem in it???.....But $$$ will never change me cuz I'll alwayz b in da streetz!!!....Datz da only ppl I connect wit n rel8 2....
I aint use 2 ppl in college...I'm like how did I get here??...Who r dese ppl??..I'm use 2 feinz, jackaz, dboyz, n homeless ppl...It'z def a change of environment 4 me, but knowledge iz power n da more u kno, da further u will go in lyfe...So i'm livin 1 day @ a time, appreciatin absolutely errthang, n stayin humble n gr8ful...Lyfe iz short...My mom getz da resultz bak 4 her biopsy 2morow determinin if she has cancer...Plz keep prayin 4 her!!...
1 luv n God bless!!
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