I cant help it. So angry. Pist all the time. I left all that **** behind. Now i gotta deal with those punk **** bitches on my own. Every time i come into the hood to see my future wife i see them. Peepin waiting to catch me slippin. If they only knew who i used to be or whom i was in the past.
Cant stand this. I went from people giving me respect for no reason. Just because. Now..... **** ill end up getting smoked for the wrong color shoes .
Should i have left LA ? I wonder every day. Im just an outsider now. Living in some **** hole.
Its different now. Im nolonger the gang member, im the prey. Just a working man trying to survive and raise a family in a mess far from anything i understand.
theres no **** tradition with these people. no rightiousness no honor. its distgusting.
while it has made me stronger. i cant say im myself anymore.
i dont know where this is going, but ill survive i always will. always have. from sleeping on park benches, to drinking fine champagne with people i thought only exisited in **** movies. here i am, waiting for 6am to come to take the kid to school and the wife to work before i go to my **** job.
just a shadow of what i used to be, a change for the better i cant tell and ill never know.