I GOT INTO ALL OF THIS CUZ OF THE CHILDHOOD I HAD. I GREW UP THINKIN I WAS F*CKED UP IN THE HEAD. WAS NEVER CLOSE WITH MY PARENTS, IN FACT I HATED THEM N I WAS ONLY A LIL KID. HAD A SH*TLOAD OF RESPONSIBILITIES WHEN I WAS LIL, NEVER GOT TO BE A F*CKEN KID HAD TO BE AN ADULT N TAKE CARE OF MY BROTHER N SISTER. I LIVED IN CALIFORNIA, GANG-BANGIN IS LIKE THE BIGGEST THING WHERE I USED TO LIVE. AS SOON AS I GOT TO 5TH GRADE I WENT WILD. MY PARENTS COULDNT CONTROL ME. IT WAS BOMB CUZ I FINALLY WAS DOIN THE STUFF I WANTED TO...GETTIN HIGH& DRINKIN. I WOULD SLEEP AT MY GRAMAS N WOULDNT GO HOME FOR LIKE 2 WEEKS OR ONE DAY A WEEK. SCHOOL GRADES SUCKED. THEN MY PARENTS REALIZED THE SH*T I WAS GETTIN INTO... THEY'D THROW AWAY EVERY BANDANA THEY'D FIND AND WOULD TALK DOWN ON ME. IT DIDNT STOP ME. **** 1 WAS ALREADY DOWN WIT A GANG. BUT THEY WANTED TO MOVE, IT WAS EITHER THAT OR MILTARY SCHOOL. THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP BUT COME ON THERES GANGS EVERYWHERE. I DIDNT TELL MY HOMIES...I WAS SCARED. WE MOVED TO A STUPID **** A** STATE INTO A LIL TOWN. THEY OPENED UP THERE OWN PLACE N ONCE AGAIN I WAS ALONE ALL DAY, SO I'D JUST GET HIGH OFF ANYTHING AT THAT POINT. I STARTED MAKIN FRIENDS. I STARTED FIGHTIN EVERYONE TO GAIN RESPECT. IM GOING TO BE 16 AND NOW IM PREGNANT N MY VATO IS A GANG-BANGER TOO. IM WORRIED ALL THE TIME HE'S G0NA GET SHOT OR LOCKED UP. I REALLY WISH NOW THAT WE WEREN'T CAUGHT UP IN ALL THIS SH*T. I CARE BOUT THIS BABY AND IM AFRAID TO GO OUT AND SINCE I HAVE SO MANY RIVALS THAT THEY'LL JUMP ME AND I'LL LOOSE MY BABY. CUZ LETS FACE IT THEY AREN'T GONA GIVE A **** IF YOUR PREG0 0R N0T... THEY JUS WANT REVENGE. WE HAVE TO WATCH OUR BACKS ALOT AND DONT TRUST NO-ONE. WE ARE CAREFUL WHEN WE GO PLACES WITH PEOPLE WE DONT KNOW... JUST IN CASE THEIR HOMIES WITH A RIVAL. ITS STUPID, I LAY IN BED ALL NIGHT SOMETIMES THINKING ABOUT THE LIFE WE ARE GONA HAVE IF WE STAY HERE... WHAT IF WE GET SHOT SOME DAY AND THEN WHO'S GONA BE HERE FOR MY KID. I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT MY LIFE IN THE FUTURE WHEN I GOT INTO THIS ALL. NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT MY FAMILY MEANT WHEN THEY SAID I'D REGRET IT. AS FOR HOMIES IN THE GANG, F*CK THEM THE DAY YOU GET LOCKED UP, THEIR ALL THREATENING YOU NOT TO SNITCH OR ELSE. AND WHEN YOU WANA GET OUT THEY WANT TO BEAT YOU AND KILL YOU, AND THEY SAID THEY WERE HOMIES. F*UCK HOMIES THEIR ALL FAKE, TRUST NO-ONE. ITS ALL A BIG LIE ALL THIS GANG SH*T. YOU START OUT THINKING ITS A GAME AND YOU CAN QUIT WHEN YOU GET TIRED BUT NAW... IT BECOMES THE OWNER OF YOUR LIFE AND ITS HELLA HARD TO GAIN CONTROL BACK...
IM STILL TRYING AND I DONT THINK I'LL BE ABLE TO MAKE IT THAT LONG UNLESS I MOVE AWAY AGAIN, BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE MY BABY GROW UP.
ALL OF YOU WHO THINK ITS COOL, THINK TWICE CUZ WHAT SEEMS TO BE FUN FOR A WHILE CAN TURN INTO YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE LATER ON.
LIKE ME, I DREAM I COULD JUST RUN AWAY WITH MY KID& VATO... BUT I WAKE UP AND SEE THAT THIS NIGHTMARE I GOT MYSELF INTO IS REALITY ...AND IT'S MY LIFE.