I dunno wut more I can do...I tryd errthang...My luv 4 u iz trill...I wud have gave my last breathe 4 u...I alwayz put u 1st n b4 me cuz I aint selfish...If I didn't luv u, I wudn't publically appoligize 2 u...If my luv wuznt trill n if I didn't kare bout u, I wudn't still b here after u had a seed n said u like women....I told u I'm wrong 4 my mouth, I need help, n I will change...U need 2 have faith....I'm humble n listen n take advice from otherz...I'm wise enuff 2 realize only God iz perfect n lyfe iz a perpetual learnin process I don't kno wut more one can do, Mayb pray more...
Street Gang Message Boards » Street Gang Articles
God'z Will...
(5 posts)-
Posted 8 months ago #
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Okay apart from the homie's post.
Sarah..I owe you an apology for how I treated you & the things I said..we both drank..we said things we obviously didn't mean..& I know your married now from outside sources..cus I'm good like that..LOL But its whatever..your ex. friend called him a "pansy"..so if you wanted to be with one..I guess now you are sweetheart. I just tend to miss your son..& I think about you guys from time to time. I really did love you guys. I would say I miss you Sarah..but I can't..theres somebody else on my mind too.
Starry..I owe you an apology too..for cussing out your "friend"..I don't know how much of a friend that guy really is..but you know him..I don't..but he still don't gotta agree with my comments to you..cus it sounds like he wants you..& honestly..I'm gonna be real..I was looking forward to that hun. You think I get jealous & be mean to your friends just because..but I see how the men are..with all their sexual inuendos, trying to hit on you..just because they couldn't have you..& your gorgeous & play in a band out here in SD..but somewhere along the line..I think you think its okay to be promisquious with whomever..& I see that as a bunch of trash..because thats really not love..sure..thats sex..but then you gotta go hunt for it again..& hope you get it. & to me, yeah..a "slime ball" is worthy of protecting you from..I don't care what some dude did to you sexually..but I'm tired of your friends acting like sex crazed crazy heathens! That in itself should be worthy of no woman! If they have to make public comments no less on your azz & boobs..THATS NOT CLASSY! Not in my opinion..& I don't see how I'm wrong trying to protect you from scum-bags like that..even if right now I did that verbally instead of physically. & why would you even offer me to live with you, if you didn't like me or love me or whatever the heck your supposed to be in my life for. I did not talk to you to waste my time Starry..I saw something I wanted & tried to take it..that being you! I haven't had that many people really embrace me when I needed it like you have...& honey..I realize we have our differences..the way we dress, the music we choose to listen to, what we do daily..but I've been missing you daily! & I can't allow my foolish mistake to take you away from me..not with all that we've shared..or should I say, what I've shared with you..I know you don't want Teddii to "need" you..but every man "needs" his lady, or a lady..its not a matter of "needing" you..its "wanting" to be around you..& I'm gonna try hard not to let some dude who looks like Hugh Heffner on crack with a wine glass, take what we have & what we've been building..I'm just playing..hes probably a decent guy..but still..he don't need to be all over you like that..thats what makes Teddii a little bit jealous & outraged..not saying your not a grown woman & don't know what n_ggas is after..but I hate people who try to take advantage of people just for sex or because somebody is too blind to take notice of that..once again..I'm not saying you are..but like or love one man or thee other..you CANNOT have your cake & eat it too..understand what I'm saying??? You can't trust me??? How do I know I could trust you?? Or trust you living with you??? In order to do what you said..we HAVE to trust one another! That doesn't mean get angry at Teddii & don't speak to me for a week..its been longer than a week I think..the last time you talked to me it was the 23rd..its the 6th already. I wish I could know what you really think of me..so I could know if we're ever gonna talk again. I was planning on taking you out to dinner upon if I got the chance to really meet you..all expenses paid..maybe a movie..ya know..just something Old School..just us alone..me & you..maybe have a little dinner conversation or candles or whatever the **** you wanna do..if nothing else..just to show my appreciation to you babe..for getting me through that shyt with Sarah..cus that byitch like broke my heart..but you fixed it somehow..& right now its broken again without you...like my homie Lil CashMoney401 said..I wouldn't make it public if I wasn't sorry to you..& if I didn't care about you..****..its just like ripping me apart inside..my emotions just are like sad..numb now..like I don't know what to think because I don't know how you truely feel just yet..& I could go on baby..but I think these are enough thoughts to cloud your brain with..I love you..don't think I don't..not after everything we shared between us..& like I said..your absolutely just gorgeous, breath-taking to me..not to mention hella multi-talented..lol
& I did not sit there with you for hours, talking with you about my break-up with Sarah & about my whole life in a nut-shell..just for you to get mad at me & disappear & never talk to me again..just like Sarah did..
Posted 8 months ago # -
REAL TALK HOMIE..ALL WE CAN DO IZ PRAY N TRUST GOD'Z WILL 4 R LIVEZ...I KNO HE AINT PUT ME N LIKE N U N SARAH 2GETHA 4 NO REASON N ONLY 2 B APART LATER ON...AT LEAST I DON'T THINK SO...ALL I KNO N WUT I LEARND, ONLY GOD IZ 4EVA N ABSOLUTELY ERRTHANG N EVERY1 ELSE WILL EVENTUALLY DISAPPEAR!!!...
Posted 8 months ago # -
I hear you..but Sarah is already gone homie..shes married already to someone else..shes gone..she ain't gonna come back to me..real talk homie..thats done & over with..thats what I was speaking on...I was talking to another lady..but she got mad at me for saying stuff about her supposed "friend"..& she hasn't talked to me in 2 weeks..& we've usually been talking everyday...its so weird to me..like my life in general sometimes makes me a hard cold heartless azzhole..& people in the world make me show that side of me sometimes..but if Sarah wouldn't have cheated, wouldn't of gotten me drunk everyday we were together..that would of been different, I know it. & if this chick I've been talking with now, wouldn't of gotten her panties wet for some old fart..& shes just stop being so naieve about guys..my guess is she really didn't have too much guidance when she was younger..& she was just allowed to do what she wanted..sneak guys into her room & this & that..if she'd stop for one second..being a hoe or whatever shes on about in her life..she'd see that I was sorry for what I said..& that I'm trying to build a relationship with her..& that we were starting to head in that direction..but I think shes too into sex (which not that I mind lol) & everything else in her life..being married once into an abusive relationship from what shes told me..she probably thinks I'm one of those guys. But check this out Cash..she told me like this..Starry goes.."I didn't mean scared of you physically! I just don't want to be emotionally hurt..". Well..this is how my mind is working & thinking right now at that statement.. "Okay..your first husband was abusive you said..he hurt you physically..right? And that in itself probably hurt you even more emotionally..right? Well..what do you think your doing to yourself now..after 2 weeks?..if your not hurting your own emotions with however you feel about me..I don't know..but what do you think your doing to me??? I told you about my whole life..beginning to present..told you about what gang I use to repp..about my family..about my disability..about my home life..about my alcoholism..about almost every drug I've ever tried in my lifetime..I've poured out my essence to you..my ****' soul..& your just gonna leave me & not talk to Teddii no more simply because I try to straighten n_ggas out..lett'em know they can't treat you like'a piece of ****..or a hoe..your gonna walk away from me because I protect you????" This is about as dumm as when Sarah said I couldn't protect her simply because we both jumped at a scary scene in a scary movie! LOL..I mean, thats just idiotic..of course I'm gonna jump..I was scared too, when you see'a freakin' demon monster type thing with blood all over it & wielding a freakin' chain-saw..what you want me to do?? LOL not pizz my pants?? LOL..I grabbed you after that..it scared the shyt out of both of us.
I don't know if my words are good enough...I tried...God just please come save me from my life I got now..make my life what it used to be...I'm tired of hurting & having people hurt me without knowing it..I'm tired of numbing myself..tired of smoking these cigarettes everyday..tired of drinking whatever alcohol I can get my hands on whenever someone hurts my emotions..& my emotions just tend to feel hurt everyday...I don't want to live this phase anymore...people say theres so much more out there for us than just that..but everytime I think I'm gonna get it..& come so close..its just always out of reach..& somebody always walks away from me without me even understanding why or what for..I look like literal crap..I really do..but please keep me as strong as I have been..even while alone..cus I know on the streets..I could never talk like this..people would think I was really messed up inside..& I don't even talk to my friends, the few that I do have, about stuff like this..because it breaks me...but I know whenever I speak to you..nobody no matter who..could ever break my spirit..& that your always all around me..as well as us all...amen. & thank you for allowing me to share here & help people in this place..its always been great..& thats a part of me.
Posted 8 months ago # -
Trill talk!!...If u never say wut u feel n think, no1 will eva kno...Datz Y I alwayz speak my mind n corazon...Regardless of who it effectz, I kno im da truth...I'm respected by every1 everywhere I go...Ppl mite not like me or help me or give me $$$ or food when im broke n hungry, cuz dey selfish, but dey still respect me cuz dey aint survived wut I been thru n kno dey prolly won't...LOOK AT ME...I'M IN COLLEGE!!! I CAN'T BELEIVE DAT ISH IN MY WILDEST DREAMZ!!...Who'd eva thought dat yungn who usda bang, slang, n use d'z n drink errday n do dirt 4 food n clothez wud go 2 college??? Da same cat who lost errbody 2 da jail n grave n aint got no family or $$$ left iz sittin in college...Datz cuz I alwayz beleived I wuz better den livin in poverty...I alwayz beleived in myself n knew I kud n wud do better....
I dunno where I'm goin, but I'm enjoyin da journey 1 day @ a time n I aint lookin back....Wuteva God has planned iz great n my future iz bright....College iz good...Knowlede iz power....Da greatest knowledge iz knowin u will never kno errthang n u can alwayz learn more....
I changed my outlook on lyfe, im a lot more humble n gr8ful n appreciate errthang n take nuffin 4 granted...I'm incrediblly gr8ful 4 dis site n 4 u my ninja no h_omo but u alwayz been der when i need advice n u dont judge ppl...u an influence homie...real talk....
as 4 ya gurl my dude, all u can do iz Pray n trust God...If itz his will, u'll b 2gether, if not, U'll find sum1 better...All U can do iz try...If derz a will derz a way, but luv iz mutual...
I don't luv Malika, I luv who I thought she wuz, n dat wuz an immitation she wuz pretendin 2 b cuz she needed attention..She aint real, errthang bout her wuz a lie 4 attention...Juz cuz she look good, don't mean she trill...I prefer a real woman ova a model chick now...I learned my lessonz...I need a trill woman 2 make my wifey dat I can rel8 2 n trust..Not sum fake model who livin a lie n pretendin 2 b trill...."REAL RECONIZE DA FAKE" like my n_igga Nussie (r.i.p.) say...
Posted 8 months ago #
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